How to Ask Someone On a Date

First off, you'll notice that this post is entitled "How to Ask Someone On a Date".  Not "How to Ask a Girl On a Date".  There is a difference.  In one of my previous posts, I mentioned that it is completely alright for a girl to ask a guy on a date.  I still advocate that.  Nothing has changed.

And, now that we've gotten that out of the way, we can move on to the post.


Asking a person on a date shouldn't really be that hard of a concept to understand, but some people just can't seem to get it right.  You don't have to go all out and leave a riddle on the person's doorstep like people do for high school dances.  There is a time and a place for that.  That time and that place is in high school at a high school dance.

Of course, you can't just sit around the other extreme either where you don't make any effort at all.  This means no texting

I advise that you stick around the middle of those two extremes.  Either ask the person on a date while you are talking face to face or just give them a call.  Phones do still work for more than texting.

All you have to do is say something to the effect of, "Hey, I've been wanting to see [insert name of romantic comedy here] for awhile.  Do you want to be my date?"  It's that simple.

This doesn't have to be a 20 minute conversation.  You can have it last for just a few minutes.  Plan the basics (what day, about what time, etc.) and leave it at that.  You don't have to plan everything out over the phone right then (unless the date is going to be in 5 minutes, in which case, shame on you for taking so long to ask someone), just plan the basics and THEN you can text back and forth to work out the details.

Asking someone on a date shouldn't be that hard to do, but some people still mess up.  Make sure that you aren't one of those people.


Tellin' it how it is,
The Unobtrusive One

The Two Main Rules of Dating

                You readers deserve to read new stuff more often.  So I decided to give you guys another post.  It appears like this blog has turned into a type of dating blog that is just written solely by me, so I guess I’ll continue the trend at least for now.
                Now before I start out on this post (which is obviously entitled “The Two Main Rules of Dating”), I’m going to let you guys know that this is all meant in jest and that I do not suggest that anyone actually follow these rules.  Of course, if you do actually happen to decide to follow these rules, I would love to hear how they worked out for you.  But I don’t recommend following these rules.  Now on to the post.

The Two Main Rules of Dating

1.       Don’t date crazy.

This one shouldn’t be too hard to figure out.  If you date crazy, you're going to have a bad time. I do not recommend it.  Now, you might be wondering, “Who is this Crazy that he’s talking about?”  Well crazy is basically someone who acts crazy.  Have you seen the Overly Attached Girlfriend meme that’s been going around lately?  That is crazy.  Crazy makes a scrapbook full of pictures that they have taken of you when you aren’t looking along with pieces of your hair and anything else that they can get a hold of.  Don’t date crazy.  That leads me to rule number two.

2.       If you do date crazy, make up a fake identity.

If you can’t help but date someone crazy (maybe they’re just too cute to pass up or they have the right connections to get you front row seats at a concert or something similar), then you obviously can’t give them any true information; that will just result in you and your friends being stalked after you break up with crazy.  So you need to make a fake you.  Create a whole new person.  You’ll want it to be close enough to your real self that it doesn’t take too much to pull off and it’s easier to not slip up.

Tellin' it how it is,
The Unobtrusive One

Chick Flicks and Why They're Necessary

I haven't posted in a while, so I decided that I should probably write a post while I'm just sitting here doing nothing (read "browsing the Internet").  First I'll give you the reason why I haven't posted in a long time.  I'm a procrastinator.  Simple as that.  I could've posted a lot, I just didn't.

But on to the post.

Girls, most of you don't need to be told why chick flicks are necessary.  Most of you love chick flicks and what they have in them.  So the first part of this post is mostly for the guys.  Of course I will throw stuff in that the girls should pay attention to.

Guys, you're going to have to watch chick flicks at some point in your life.  Your girlfriend will make you.  Your wife will make you.  Someone will make you.  If you claim that you will never watch a chick flick, you're lying to yourself.  It will happen.

However, chick flicks are necessary.  Take most girls to watch a chick flick instead of an action movie and (most of the time) they'll appreciate it.  On the other hand, if you refuse to watch a chick flick that your girlfriend wants to watch and suggest that you watch an action movie, prepare yourself for a world of cool indifference.  You have to let them have their way some of the time (actually most of the time).

Also.  Chick flicks are the best movies for cuddling.  If you haven't learned that yet, learn it now.

Girls, you make your boyfriends and husbands watch chick flicks.  You know that it's true.  Don't try to deny it.  So, if you're going to make them watch them, you can at least be kind to them and not make them watch the terrible chick flicks.  Guys like movies with action.  So, instead of watching a movie that is completely full of cheesy romance, pick a movie that has at least a little bit of action so that us guys don't get completely bored.

Just to sum everything up: guys, chick flicks are a necessary evil; girls, be kind to the guys and pick decent chick flicks.


Tellin' it how it is,
The Unobtrusive One

My Guide on How to Get Over a Break Up

So, I was recently reading this blog post about how to get over a break up (not because I’ve recently gone through a break up and I’m spending all of my time watching Netflix and eating ice cream, but because it was on one of the blogs that I check out every once and awhile). Anyway, this prompted me to write my own blog post on how to get over a break up. I am not claiming to be an expert on break ups, I’ll admit that I’ve only had one girlfriend, but there were multiple break ups involved in that relationship and the last one was a really crazy one.

The blog post that I read (http://byudates.blogspot.com/2012/03/baby-names-and-wedding-dates.html) had five different points that girl says that she learned from experiencing break ups. In case you don’t want to go read through the whole post (and I don’t expect you to, it’s pretty long), here were her points:

1. When it's been serious, you can't just go back to being friends. It's impossible. Sorry. You've got to cut them out. I've sent and received enough needy text messages to realize that it's just better to end things with dignity; not bitterness and self-pity.

2. Give yourself a few days to mope. But then you've got to move on. Make new friends. Develop new habits. Create an identity outside of the couple you used to be.

3. When the moments of sadness take over, don't torture yourself by reading old letters, text messages and pouring over his [or her] Facebook page. It'll hurt you. And you'll continue to identify yourself as someone he rejected.

4. Read your scriptures. Say your prayers. Go to the temple. Throw yourself into your calling. After every break-up I've gone through, those four simple things have helped me more than anything else.

5. Remember who you are, and that you are worth it. No matter what your low self-esteem is inclined to tell you.

Now that you’ve read her views on break ups (and formed your own opinions on them), you get to hear my opinion on her views. I will start from her last point and work my way up.

“Remember who you are, and that you are worth it.” I see this as a valid point. There are some people who totally lose it when someone breaks up with them. They think that there is something wrong with them and that that’s the reason why the person broke up with them. While this is sometimes the case, it’s usually just because you two weren’t a good fit and they just realized it before you did. The only problem with this is that now you probably won’t realize this as easily as they did and you might actually just refuse to believe it.

“Read you scriptures. Say your prayers. Go to the temple. Throw yourself into your calling.” For those of you who are wondering why she put in a point like that, I’ll tell you. She’s LDS (Mormon). I’m LDS as well, so I’m going to address it. For those of you who don’t want to read my views on this, you don’t have to. Just skip the rest of this paragraph. First off, you should already be doing those things. Except I think that a better wording for the last one would be “Magnify your calling.” When she said, “Throw yourself into your calling,” the first thing that came to mind was some Relief Society President who everyone would avoid because they’re constantly trying to do stuff for them and rope them into their insane frenzy of serving everyone else. Don’t get me wrong, serving people is great, but when you become crazy about it, it gets to be too much.

“Don’t torture yourself by reading old letters, text messages and pouring over his [or her] Facebook page.” This is a good point. You don’t have to delete every single photo of the two of you that’s on Facebook. You don’t have to delete their number from your phone. But don’t be constantly reminding yourself of what the two of you used to do together. My suggestion is to get a shoebox and put all of that stuff that you’ve accumulated from your time together (pictures, teddy bears, whatever) and put it in your closet somewhere. There’s no harm in getting it out and looking through it every once and awhile, but you can’t let yourself look at it too much. I’d say that once a month is the limit. And that might even be a little too much. Maybe start with once a month and then progressively look through it less and less until you find that you don’t have to look through it at all.

“Give yourself a few days to mope. But then you've got to move on. Make new friends. Develop new habits. Create an identity outside of the couple you used to be.” This is why you can’t do everything with your boyfriend or girlfriend. You have to have things that you can do by yourself. Your life can’t be one long date. Guys, go hang out with your bros. Girls, go hang out with your chicks. My point is: don’t be doing everything together in the first place. Let’s face it, there are things that your significant other does that you don’t find appealing at all. Rather than trying to force yourself to like what they do and torture yourself in the process, just let them do those things by themselves or with another friend. It doesn’t have to be you. This will make the break up a whole lot easier for the both of you.

“When it’s serious, you can’t just go back to being friends.” On the contrary, you can go back to being friends, but only if both of you are fine with being just friends. If both of you actually want to be more than friends, you’ll end up having a bunch of make out sessions that you didn’t mean to happen and then you’ll just turn into friends-with-benefits. If one of you wants to still be more than friends and the other one doesn’t, neither one of you will be happy. The one who wants to be more than friends will always be sad that you aren’t more than friends while the one who wants to be just friends will not be happy with the other person’s attempts to get back together. This will end up with the two of you having a few fights and then not being friends at all. But if both of you are fine with being just friends, it will work out, I’ve seen it work before.

Well there you have it. My Guide on How to Get Over a Break Up. I hope you enjoyed it.

Tellin’ it how it is,

The Unobtrusive One

New Posts

Alright, so I've been meaning to do another post, but every time I actually find the time and motivation, I have no clue what to write about. So feel free to give us suggestions of what to write about on this blog. You can either just leave a comment on this post or just email us at offensivebyustudents@gmail.com

Tellin' it how it is,
The Unobtrusive One

My Problem With Dating #218

I know that it's been a long time since anyone has posted something new here. My excuse is that I've been lazy and I haven't really had anything to post about. I don't know if the other two guys who are supposed to be posting stuff on here have an excuse at all. But now I've decided on something to talk about and I don't want to work on homework, so you guys get another post.

My problem with dating is that people seem to think that guys should always be the ones to be asking the girls out on dates and that it's never ok for the girls to ask guys out on dates.

When I get told that I need to ask girls out on dates, the first thing that comes to my head is, "Why don't they need to ask guys out?" Seriously, girls are all for equality when it comes to voting and jobs and salary, but when it comes to dating, they think that everything depends on the guys. This needs to change.

Right now, the problem with being a guy (especially a guy at BYU) is that we're expected to ask girls on dates and pay for those dates. That can get rather expensive. I don't know about all of you other guys, but I don't have that much money to blow. Meanwhile, the girls are having guys pay for their dinner, their movie ticket, their ticket to the basketball game, and everything in between.

I’m a pretty shy guy. I’m not nearly as outgoing as one of my roommates who can start a conversation with anyone, anywhere. Because of that, I’m not as prone to ask girls on dates or even try to get their number. Terrible. I know. So to get told that I’m the one who’s supposed to be doing most (if not all) of the work is kind of a daunting prospect for me.

Women, it's perfectly ok for you to ask a guy out on a date. There's nothing wrong with it. In fact, you'd probably score points with the guy by asking him out on a date (at least, you would with me). So to all of the women out there who are complaining that they don’t have a date for the weekend, go out and get one. Live in the 21^st century.

Tellin' it how it is,

The Unobtrusive One